So whats cooking tonite

My dear sweet hubby calls me at work and says "Chellame....make molagu rasam for me in the evening, i feel that a cold is on the way..." And so it is Molagu rasam (pepper rasam) that evening at home...I do it lot faster and there is a purpose after coming home.
My other evenings, the planning for what to cook starts the minute my work slackens and my mind wanders into what vegetables I have in the fridge, what other work i have to finish that evening....somedays its so frustrating not able to decide what to cook....so call hubby admist a serious meeting, hubby answers the summons...and I importantly ask him "what do u want to eat today evening"...After hearing this he either slams down the phone or evasively answer "whatever you do is ok with me........"
But then you end up where you started...if he is in a mood to listen then say those dishes which he would hate like upma and he is like why dont u make bhel puri instead!! My purpose solved i put down the receiver with a satisfied smile on my face.
My logic is very simple feed people with what they like to eat at that time. And there is a motivation to cook coz theres somebody eager to eat what you cook....So i have resigned myself to his wants and tastes in food. Marraige does that to one I guess!! I consider myself lucky as there is no huge difference between our families food wise and was not only able to eat their kind of food but also cook it!! My MIL is a great cook and to compete with her is impossible. So occasional comments by him are inevitable..."my moms rasam are much nicer..."
I have heard some of my friends woes.....mostly the ones who have had love marraiges, getting acustomed to their husbands family food habits have been very difficult on them.One of my south Indian friend married a northie....now she begs me to make idlis and dosas for her coz at her place no one makes it nor likes it...And another friend of mine got married to a pallakad iyer(arranged)...their way of cooking is entirely different, poor thing she had to learn an entirely different nauance of cooking the same thing.
Now these guys always being the apple of their moms eye are spoilt rotten...they expect to have chutney, sambar whenever there is idli/dosa, if it is mor kozhambu there should be kathirikai pitla, chakra pongal means there should be vadai to go along!! during those intial years of marraige one tends to cook whatever they like and somewhere down the line that becomes the norm.
I who used to raise hell to eat dishes which has pepper in them, now eat it without complain....(though my mom is so happy.....says i deserve it after all the trouble i gave them for so many years!!!!).......My whole food habit has changed........Change....its so strange!! ugh!!
One fine day...its a thursday i think...I come back home from work and struck thinking what to cook for the whole evening ...ended up eating some fruits..... My hubby was out of town due to business reasons!!
I just then realized I dont know what i want to eat any longer......!!!!
PS : Am yet to hear men complaining that their food habits have changed after marraige.....!!!

Adventures with Pet Raising

am surrounded with people here who are so fanatic about pets, be it at work or at home...My neighbor has 2 dogs..(Don’t ask me about the breed...) One is huge, black in color and the other is the tiny poodle (i guess) kinds...both barking at a mere sound we make outside our apartment. The building in which i live has about 12 apartments, 4 in each floor. Till now I have encountered 7 dogs. Phew!!
Me n hubby both are wary of dogs. Hubby is more scared than me...All we know of dogs back home are the theru nayis (Street dogs) whom our parents used to feed with palayathu (left over rice..).
I for one instinctively shudder when I see a dog. The dog owner eventually says, "he/she wont bite..." but how do we know...namba neram...(our fate..) the thought of 14 usi (dog bite injections...) in the stomach looms ahead...
Nowadays, my apt people on seeing me give me wider birth.. the right of way !! That did it....it was so insulting...as if we don’t love animals...we do but it is our no-pet upbringing which makes us react this way. I remember when we (me and my brother) were young, due to the influence of lot of Enid Blyton books used to pester mom for a puppy..she used to " Ungala vechinde samalika mudiyalai,ethula nayi veraya " (We are unable to cope with you, on top of this should we go for a puppy).
We decided we should get some pets, something which we could take care of. Hubby was interested in getting an aquarium....he got excited about setting up a fish tank and buying all kinds of fishes...
All of our American colleagues have their dogs/cats photo on their desktop as screensaver, some have them framed for display near their workstation....Mike has 3 horses and 2 foals which he proudly gives status about everyday. When the news reached them about how we were interested in setting up a fish tank, there were all kinds of suggestions and opinions on the size of the aquarium, what things should be bought along with it and the kinds of fishes that can be put together in the tank...etc...etc...Wow wot enthusiasm..
I also heard them telling me that we should be prepared of the fishes dying and so it put me of the idea of getting lot of fishes...All i wanted to get was a single pot with a single fish in it...Since we were having difference of opinions we thought to give it time...Meanwhile since we already had thought of having pets, we decided on getting a bird feeder.
We shopped for it got this lovely bird feeder with a handle where the bird can perch and peck the grains through a small hole in it...We hung it from our 3rd floor balcony...it was Red in color and so pretty... To start with we got 2 lb of grains..for $4 and I filled it.
For about a week daily I used to want the birds to peck from it but no bird came and the grains remained untouched......So i scattered the grains all over the balcony one day out of lack of patience.
Lo and Behold! different type of birds started visiting us. Its such a beautiful sight seeing them. I proudly photographed the same and showed it everyone who were interested, see we too have pets...By the end of the week we ran out of bird feed. We were so excited and happy that we got 4lb pack for $6 and before we realized it we ran out of the grains in less than 5 days........!!!! My wooden balcony shows off a pristine white coat....(bird droppings)!! Still the joy of seeing these small delicate birds perched on the handle and pecking grains makes us wonder at God's fabulous creation!! Remembered my 10th std poem of Blake's "Did He who made the lamb make thee?"So we are happy with our pet idea of pets, to the extent of feeding birds...We also defend our actions saying that mostly people here, are lonely and they find solace in having pets, when we have hordes and hordes of relatives and no room for pets!!!

Hmm......am still a vegetarian

"What do you mean ur vegetarian? " squealed MikeI was like wot do u mean wot do u mean I am a vegetarian, period.""Are you one of those who eat chicken only or fish only vegetarians?" he askedI said " I am a pure vegetarian, do not even have eggs.."He blanched and could understand how there can be people like me....
He was standing near my cubicle which was located in the center of the floor, people have to pass through my cubicle to get around going outside/inside the office premises. He made such a fuss about the fact that I am a vegetarian that he called the other employees working in their respective cubicles.
Soon there was a group of people in my room asking me questions like. "So wot do u eat everyday?", "U dont even eat juicy burgers'? "how about well cooked meat"...blah blah..
I was very much amused that people can be so suprised that I dont eat meat. On the ensuing talk i found out that Mike is a hunter, he goes hunting every year near the Oklahoma woods. He particularly relishes hunting deers and wild pigs. He says they taste better if you hunt them and eat it. (So revolting!!)
Mary started telling her experiences about trying to stay vegetarian. She tried it hard for about a week and all she did was eat lots of salads, beans and rice. ( I was thinking about the variety I cook in my kitchen every day....)
"Thats so true" quipped Paul. "There is nothing to cook when you are a vegetarian. On the other hand I take so much care cooking my meat" I let it marinate and then cook it to perfection" While saying it itself his mouth was watering and he was explaining how he is the best barbecuer in town. He says "I dont like anything pink in my meat nor do i like traces of blood in them. That makes me so sick..."
Mike replies "For the way you go on you might as well be a Vegetarian like her" "wot a waste, burning a good meat in the name of cooking". We were all stunned hearing it. Mike explained proudly that he is in the top of the food chain and Paul is somewhere lost in the middle and I am still grazing in the bottom. He relishes eating raw meat and it does not affect him when we call him names like Cannibal and animal ....
So he started questioning me deeply.
"So why dont you eat any meat?" he asked. "Is it something to do with your religion"?"Yes it started out like that earlier but now its merely peoples choice and I choose to remain a vegetarian" I replied.
He was curiously persistent and asked me again "Why? Do u know what all things you are missing"
I was totally amazed. I told them "Hey guys you are the people who are missing so many things", "How different can meats be from each other"? "Do you know the different kinds of vegetables and lentils that are there that can be cooked more tastier and healthier than the meat'...
Ofcourse they didnt have the faintest idea wot i was talking about. So i told him the reason what my father told me when I was young and questioned him likewise. I told him "Meats contain the 'Vasanas' or tendencies of the animal you are consuming. And Invariable you tend to have them by way of consumption"
So he said " You mean I will have tendencies like that of a pig and cow" "Exactly, you would absorb all the negative aspects of those animals in your behaiour..." I said. He answered defensively " You guys drink milk from the cow, would that mean you are like a cow"I didnt know what to answer for that...So i said thats the beginning...You are the extreme...I tried to explain him how our ancient yogis practised their meditation with minimal amountof food food have a major impact on mind...blah blah....
He became serious and the others started talking about how they started to do yoga and how it was affecting their life and the topic riverted to some other stuff and slowly people started going to their places to resume their work.
I thought I made an impact on Mike and was very happy about it. The next day I had to hurry to office without packing lunch as i got up late. So i was contemplating to go to the nearest Subway. I was telling the same to Paul when Mike comes out and very innocently tells me I dont have to grow very far for my food. I like a simpleton ask him, oh u mean there is someother place nearby?
He sniggers and tells me "Oh the whole frontend landscaped garden grass awaits you......."

My Arranged Marraige...

I want to share with you all, my personal story of "Arranged Marraige". This is to let girls like me know that we still can find way in making our arranged marraige into a love match and always WE get to choose.
I come from a very conventional bramin family where love marraiges are unheard off. My parents are forward lot in them in a way that they let me study without interruption till I completed my postgraduation in Management. After that even if my parents let be, there are this so called "well wishing" relatives who would prod and poke at their sensitivities that they would be forced to take some initiatives towards the marraige market.
The way how things would proceed is they register the girl's/boy's horoscope in the local temple or marraige bereau service and take the horoscopes that match. From there if the horoscopes match they make contact and if everything goes well there would be exchange of photos. This is where the girl or the boy is informed and we get to make the decission whether to proceed ahead or not.
I remember when this whole process started off for me, the phone used to constantly ring at home enquiring about the girl ...infact I talked to one of the prospective father-in-law as if I am the girl's(me) aunt and told all good things about myself. If my dad comes to know of it he would kill me...(ugh..) Guys dont get me wrong...nobody was in an urgency to get married but it has to happen one way or the other and i wanted to have fun the whole way.
The next thing was the "ponnu pakra" (seeing the girl at her place ) ritual. Wow that was so much fun. Now a days the guys do not want to come to the girls place to look at the girl as they feel it is demeaning to the girl or something. They ask to meet at a common place like a hotel or temple...Personally i was not against the ponnu pakra ritual at home. I never felt demeaned or less about it. This way I felt was one could judge the guys reaction to elders, the way he carries himself...beleive me it is one hell of a delicate and embarrasing sitiuation. I had experiences when the guy was overeager or overtly shy to start a conversation. And everyone of them wanted to speak alone with the girl. My house is a 2 bedroom flat. On these days it is usually filled with the relatives too......I used to watch the guy squirm ...that was so much fun. I have no shame in saying that I had about 5 to 6 guys come to see me for their prospective bride before I settled for one. Afterall its a decission worth taking time . You are going to spend the rest of your life with that person. On a brighter and tastier note, On these days you get to eat nice dishes. the traditional soji, bajji, bonda, mixture and lots of other sweets...
There are few exception to these mentioned patterns like when the guy is in a foreign country like States or Dubai. In these cases he gives a call to the girl after the photo swapping happens.All these activities have to happen in the sequenced way, anything not following the accepted norms are dropped saying that they are not a good sign. (Phew!)
Now if the girl does not like the guy then it is the hidden norms that it should be generally told out that the boy didnt like the girl and not the truth. That part was so unpalatable, it was like everytime the girl has to take the blame of anything going wrong. My father tried to justify it to me telling that you dont want to give out an impression that you are arrogant kinds. It took my breath away hearing that. When did not liking someone become arrogance??
During all these happenings, I decide to get married to one of the guys who spoke to me over the phone. He was different from the rest of them, he captivated my attention with his talk.He was the one with whom I made the connection. Marraige is not only between the girl and the boy but also between the two families involved. So it is very important that the families are comfortable with each other. I observed that for a arranged marraige to happen it is not enough if the boy likes the girl or vice versa, the boy's mother should first approve the girl.
Now that both parties like each other it doesnt automatically lead to marraige. There are several rounds of talks that need to happen between the elders. The "Terms & Conditions" as it is called needs to be finalized. Things have gone awry after reaching this stage also to many people. And then there are several shopping trips where the Boys side take the girl to get her the marraige saree, thali etc......
Then the marraige..........Ho that is another ball game entirely.
Phew I remember when all this madcap started, at one time I was seriously thinking whether it was worth all the effort...I was in a good paying job, I need not have to depend on anyone. Infact my horoscope had no blemishes, imagine how it would be for girls who had them in theirs!!! But in the end, it was worth all of the efforts. I got my dream husband! and my parents are happy!

The Beginning

Hiya everyone........

Am welcoming myself to my own space of writing ...and also to those who are here by chance or by invitation!! Welcome!!

Used to scribble a lot here and there at home in whatever piece of paper i could lay my hands on..now giving it a structure and a rigid framework so that these meandering do not get lost through the pass of time....(open a new thot....(As if somebody cares)..close..back to my meanderings..)

I remember I started writing from when I was 7 years old. I still have my diaries and bits of papers somewhere in the paran(attic) back home. Few days back my brother who is in chennai, in one of the chats session i had was casually hinting that he laid his hands on some of my ol' diaries...i was nearly frantic as to which one of those he was talking about. They all contain the happiness and woes of the girl in her growing up time....not to be read by anyone 'spcially my imp of a bother oh ho..i mean brother.

Incidentally i dont remember of writing anything when i was in college...life was so busy with exams and higher aspirations. Nor did i write any when I did my MBA or with my first few jobs.

Then came the love of life...so many mails and letter to him...we still open those correspondence and read how we in our initial stages of love have stumbled and stuttered to express ourselves!!! Those are priceless and will always be part of our life together.

Now after two years of blissful life and lots of short stories, poems and articles i have created this space to showcase my work and thoughts........

More to come.........enjoy this journey with me!!!